This past Saturday, my sister and her daughter, my in-laws, and my sister-in-law’s family threw Steve and me a lovely brunch (for many reasons – not the least of which was my mom’s absence – the traditional all-female at-home baby shower didn’t make sense for us) at 44 1/2 in Hells Kitchen. Almost all of Steve’s family attended, as well as my dad, my sister and niece and around 20 of our closest friends. It was such a lovely event. Below please find some of our favorite moments and details from the day. Because I don’t like to assume that folks are comfortable with pictures of themselves or their children on the internet, I’ve focused on including elements here while respecting folks’ privacy. Thank you so much to our families and friends for their generosity and helping us prepare for this huge milestone!
In an effort to make some space in our one-bedroom apartment before our little lady arrives, the husband has been researching storage facilities. We loathe throwing money away like that so, after sleeping upon it, I did yet another purge of our apartment. We schlepped a few bags down to Salvation Army (again) and I took everything out of my dresser. If I couldn’t wear a given item RIGHT NOW, it went into one of two suitcases I store in our closet. Sadly, that included my favorite bras but mission accomplished. I now had a ton of space for maternity clothes as well as the various maternity-friendly gear I can wear post-baby.
To be honest, it’s not super easy feeling sexy right now. Feminine, yes, but more like the way a female cow is feminine. I had a leftover Victoria’s Secret gift card from my bachelorette party and bought some new thongs (yep, I still wear them through pregnancy, they naturally ride low and are thus super comfy) and a couple of sassy black bras in my new size (34DD) and added them to my rather basic maternity lingerie collection. It’s not much but it’s something.
My friend and fellow stand-up comic Raquel D’Apice is currently pregnant with her second child and wrote this piece about pregnancy that captures so many feelings that I have right now: how much I loathe being pregnant sometimes while feeling guilty because some women would love to be pregnant and cannot. My daughter’s movements sometimes feel more like an alien’s jerky demands than sweet reminders of the magical female body and the tiny person my husband and I have created. And so many other things.
Read the piece. Follow her on the social medias. You’ll be glad you did.
Technically, our anniversary is Tuesday, 4/12; however, Steve left for a business trip yesterday so we celebrated Saturday night. I love Eataly and had been meaning to go there with Steve for years. He remembered and off we went.
Before I get to a few food snaps, I have to say the following:
Steve is wonderful. He is everlastingly patient with me when I have almost no patience these days. He sings silly songs (on key, no less) and changes the words so that they’re about me. When I have insomnia, he says “Make your brain stop moving. Dream of cheese.” He has organically, generously taken on the role of planner of all travel and logistics in our marriage, resulting in fantastic trips to South Africa, Costa Rica, Montreal, New Orleans, Portland, Arizona. He makes my life – and our shared life – easier and more fun in so many ways. And to top it all off, his shoulders. Man, his shoulders.
In one year, we’ve had a wedding, a honeymoon, a move (Steve’s into my/ now our apartment), two pregnancies, one miscarriage, a co-headlining show, a job change (his), and a babymoon. As soon as I get a drink in my hand again (August, maybe?), I will toast him and our many adventures.
Until then, some shots from Eataly:
Once Steve suggested we go to Eataly, I immediately began dreaming of their pasta with cacio and pepe. So simple so wonderful.
Steve had the lasagna. He gave me a bite. Also delightful.
And then we had gelato. But there was no time for pictures then. One must destroy one’s gelato immediately, which is what we did. We each had one scoop of tiramisu gelato and one scoop of salted caramel. A wonderful anniversary meal.
I was having an especially crappy morning, the type of morning during which if some well-meaning coworker had wished me a Happy Friday, I would’ve stuck a fork in their eye. I now have to go fully horizontal on my bed to put my tights on that cover my maternity Spanx shorts. The one, and perhaps only, reason I am grateful to be delivering in late July is that my days of tights are almost ever. When I got to work, cranky and tired and my sinuses hurting, my patient husband sent me this image. Thanks, buddy!
I tore into this book (Kindle app on my iPhone) one night and devoured it in two sittings. I’d seen Rachel Roy as a guest judge on Project Runway several times and her poise and cool really struck me. She always seemed confident, unflappable and calm. Her book is so many things: 1. a lovely illustration of how that beautiful yet badass persona came to be, 2. a concise clothing/accessory guide of staples every woman should own, and 3. a collection of suggestions on how to approach your day and how to present yourself with peace and gratitude.
When I initially became pregnant, I could still get away with a sweater and a pair of slacks for the office. Tops and bottoms. I could do it. Then it became clear that I would need, at least, a totally new work wardrobe. On the weekends, leggings, boots and an ex-boyfriend’s button-down would do but for Monday through Friday, I would need some serious help. I began to truly pay attention to how I presented myself and invested some time and money in looking nice. I purchased dresses and separates from MM.LaFleur, Isabella Oliver, and Macy’s. I bought a few statement necklaces and earrings from BaubleBar. I suddenly had a sharp blazer, a few wonderfully soft knit cardigans and clothes that fit me.
For better or for worse, people judge us based on our appearances. That much is nothing new. There were times in my life, my teenage years and college, most notably, when I rejected this fact. I cared about being thin and wearing make-up but clothes were my decision, f*ck you very much. Nowadays, I put forth a more significant effort. Age and my career demand as much but I always want to do more. Roy also suggests that how we present ourselves is also a gift we give to others. This blew my mind but it totally makes sense. You dress up for your lover, your child or your officemates. It’s showing respect for the other people in your life.
A few of my favorite takeaways: start your day with a thought of five things you’re grateful for and reflect upon how you can give to others. Approach dressing as a peaceful ritual as opposed to a harried chore. The first day I tried these things, people responded to me very differently. Now if I can just be consistent!
I have two shows at the end of April. One at the Virginia Arts Festival in Norfolk, Virginia on 4/28 and at Temple Hesed’s Night of Comedy in Scranton, Pennsylvania on 4/30. They’re both paid spots and I get to perform with people I adore and respect: Frank Liotti, Robin Fox, and my hubs. But I have nothing until then. My calendar hasn’t been this empty in ages. I know I can reach out to a few folks who will likely put me up and I will but I’ve been lucky – I’ve never really had to do that.
There was such build-up and work towards our co-headlining show last month and now … well. I shall use Joan as my inspiration. I’m going to do some hustling.
And if you’ve never seen this beautiful, poetic scene about the ups and downs of stand-up with Joan Rivers on Louis CK’s show, Louie, please watch it now. I revisit it a few times a year for inspiration.
My husband and I spent four lovely days in Arizona – Tempe, Tucson, Scottsdale, Phoenix. He’s an ASU alum and I used to visit my dad a lot when he vacationed in Arizona for several years. Steve and I have never been to Arizona together, however, and it was a very restful, beautiful trip.
Many months ago, my husband and I set a goal to do a half hour each. We booked the downstairs Vintage Lounge at Gotham Comedy Club and with a ring and a date, so to speak, got to work.
I’m happy to report that we sold out the 75-seat-space and had a blast. Friends and family came in from out of town and it was so lovely to see them. Comics attended – some for the whole show – others before or after their own shows that night. Coworkers, friends from various parts of our lives in New York. Worlds collided and it was so very nice. There were also about 15 or so folks we didn’t know so while I don’t believe Steve and I could’ve have packed the 300 seater space upstairs, where Carlos Mencia had sold-out shows, we feel pretty damn good. Thank you to everyone who came out to support us!