My husband and I were due to leave town Wednesday by 1pm to drive to Clarks Summit, Pennsylvania to stay at his parents’ house for two nights. I was bleeding as we walked from the subway to the radiologist.
But we saw the gestational sac, the yolk sac, the embryo and yes, the heartbeat.
“I’ve been bleeding. Brown blood,”I told the doctor.
“There is a heartbeat. Nothing else matters.”
At that point, we were tempted to break into a Metallica song by the same name but this doctor was all business. He handed us a printout of what we saw.
We arrived around 4:00pm, still bleeding but relieved. We had delicious local pizza and went to bed early. On Thanksgiving morning, we woke up and went for a walk. We saw horses and a cow. The leaves were beautiful. I came back to the house and there was so much more blood. I started to cry in the bedroom before my shower.
“We don’t have to stay here just because it’s Thanksgiving,” my husband said. “Your health is more important.”
I put on my game face and a nice outfit and got through the day. That night, alone with my thoughts, was much tougher. I couldn’t sleep. The bed was a full – smaller than our usual one – and lumpy. Everything hurt from the neck down – my breasts, my abdomen, my back, my sides.
“Hon, are you okay?”
“Is there a queen bed somewhere in the house?”
“Yes, hon. There is a huge bed in another room in the house. I didn’t think you’d want to sleep there, though.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just everything is harder when I feel like this.”
I bled some more yesterday but it has stopped today. I went to the gym. I went to work. We saw Spotlight. I see my OB again on 12/14. Until then, I’m trying to stay positive. I haven’t been on stage since Monday, which I need to change ASAP.
I bloat at the end of the day and then I usually look more normal in the morning. My breasts are enormous and my jeans are a bit tighter. Need to keep that in check as there is no reason I would need new clothes at not-quite-seven-weeks.
I so hope this one works out.